Sex And The City

So is this our favorite little good Charlotte?

A Sad Anniversary: 5 Years Of Arrogance

Courtesy of the Huffington Post. A photo Mosaic.

In remembrance of the 4,000 brave men and women who sacrificed everything for us -- and the two men who would continue this great tragedy, despite the cost to our soldiers, our military, and our nation.

Bastards...

Project Runway: Season 4.1

Lansing Michigan has its own version of Project Runway. It can be viewed each and every Monday night by attending Lansing City Council meetings. Meet Christine Timmons!

My favorite Christine Timmons quote: "If I handled my personal budget like the City of Lansing handles its budget, there is no way I would be able to afford a brand new yellow Chevy Cobalt!" Christine Timmons for Mayor of Lansing Michigan!

John McCain: Foreign Policy Expert

Here's what he told CNN in 2002:

"I am very certain that this military engagement will not be very difficult. It may entail the risk of American lives and treasure, but Saddam Hussein is vastly weaker than he was in 1991. He does not have the support of his people."

"And I'd ask one question: What member of the Iraqi army is willing to die for Saddam Hussein when they know he's going to be taken out? So I don't think it's going to be nearly as difficult as some assume."

Interesting to see McCain wondering how many Iraqi soldiers are willing to die for Saddam, while he and the rest of the establishment at least pretend to believe that Iraqi soldiers will be willing to die for Bush, if "trained" (i.e., indoctrinated) sufficiently.

Be Careful Where You Sit...And Where You Shop

Centava Dozier has filed a $200,000 lawsuit Monday against American Airlines, claiming that a male passenger masterbated in the seat next to hers and then ejaculated into her hair while she napped.

The suit claims Dozier was sitting in an empty row when the plane took off, and then fell asleep. When she woke up, she says she found a "substance" in her hair and a man masturbating in the seat next to her.

In other monkey-spanking news, 25-year-old Ricardo Faulk was arrested last Tuesday in Oregon for ejaculating on a woman walking in an aisle of the Target store. And even worse, she was there with her baby!

The victim, who does not want to be identified (makes sense), was at the store with her 3 year old daughter. She said she felt something hit her on the back of her pants. When she turned, she quickly realized what had happened. Faulk had been masturbating in the aisle and his love-juice had hit its "Target."

John McCain: “The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should"

Obviously, John McCain doesn't understand anything about the Middle East either. Is McCain senile? Or does he do this on purpose? Glad Joe Lieberman was there to correct Pappy McCain!

Republican presidential nominee John McCain, who is touting his foreign policy credentials on a tour of the Middle East, got himself tangled up on which Islamic extremist group Iran is accused of supporting.

Senator McCain, at a news conference in the Jordanian capital of Amman, accused Iran of supporting the Sunni extremist group al-Qaeda in Iraq.

US officials believe Iran has been backing Shiite extremists in Iraq, not a Sunni group like al- Qaeda.

"It's common knowledge and has been reported in the media that al Qaeda is going back into Iran and is receiving training and are coming back into Iraq from Iran. That's well known and it's unfortunate," Senator McCain said.

Connecticut Independent Senator Joe Lieberman, traveling with Senator McCain on a swing through the Middle East and Europe, whispered in his ear and Senator McCain quickly corrected himself.

"I'm sorry; the Iranians are training the extremists, not al-Qaeda. Not al-Qaeda. I'm sorry," Senator McCain said.

Democrats quickly jumped on Senator McCain, a strong backer of President George W. Bush's troop build-up in Iraq.

"After eight years of the Bush administration's incompetence in Iraq, Senator McCain's comments don't give the American people a reason to believe that he can be trusted to offer a clear way forward," said Democratic National Committee spokeswoman Karen Finney.
McCain spokesman Brian Rogers said the senator "misspoke and immediately corrected himself."

"Democrats have launched political attacks today because they know the American people have deep concerns about their candidates' judgment and readiness to lead as commander in chief," he said.

Senator McCain's next stop is Europe, where Mr Bush has been heavily criticised for a perceived "go it alone" approach on a wide range of international issues.
Before his arrival in London, Senator McCain wrote in the Financial Times that the United States must be a "model country" and work with others to tackle challenges such as terrorism and global warming.

The newspaper said Senator McCain distanced himself from what allies see as the unilateralism of the Bush administration, promising to "listen to the views and respect the collective will of our democratic allies."

In a column in the newspaper, Senator McCain promised to renew the "mutual respect and trust" between the United States and Europe and vowed to put America at the forefront of international efforts to tackle climate change.

"When we believe that international action is necessary, whether military, economic or diplomatic, we will try to persuade our friends that we are right. But we, in return, must also be willing to be persuaded by them," Senator McCain wrote.

St. Patrick's Day Party in Detroit

So I went to a St. Patty's party Saturday night with Cookie, Goetta Girl, and Queen of all Laughs.

Since alcohol and I do not mix well, I agreed to be the DD. That meant that everybody else was free to drink at will. And they did.

Here are photos of the result!

Educating America

It seems that radical right-wing MSM types like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Billy Cunningham have done their best to educate their listeners. Need proof? A new Wall Street Journal/NBC poll indicates that the number of Americans that believe Senator Barack Obama is a Muslim has almost doubled in the past 3 months--from 8% to 13%. His middle name is Hussein, after all.

The Big Show: Lansing Michigan's Newest Comedy Team

Not sure how many of you listen to AM talk radio in the morning, but Lansing has a new morning-drive comedy team. It's called The Big Show and can be heard on WJIM 1240AM from 5:30am to 9am. Listening to The Big Show is akin to watching the O'Reilly Factor--they try their damnest to sound like they know what they're talking about, but they end up sounding like pompous douchebags. Receiving top-billing is an Agent 007 wannabe named Michael Shiels. Mikey has been annoying Lansing residents with his nasal whining and wheezing since he arrived in Lansing mid-summer 2006--ready, willing, and able to dispense his third-rate J.P. McCarthy impression to the listening public. I'm not sure if it is intentional on his part, but at times he can be quite funny. He makes me laugh. Alot. Usually I am just laughing at him though. Shiels recently married a local teeth-whitening specialist that he affectionately refers to as "Dr. Christine: Dentist to the Stars," as if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fly in from the West Coast to have their bicuspids and molars cleaned. Around the Capital City, Mike is known as Lansing's own version of "Star Jones" because he constantly manages to interject the names of a few of his pet sponsors into daily monologue while trying his best to act cool. A great example of this is a paraphrasing of one of Mike's informative self-disclosures: "After the show I might go to the MAC to work out, then to Dublin Square for lunch, maybe go down to the Capital. Sometimes Dr. Christine takes me to a MSU basketball game, then maybe stop at Dusty's for some wine. I got my bizzy!" What the hell is a bizzy? Some new STD? There may just be a nasty vaccination in Mike's future. And what man refers to his wife as "Doctor?" Mikey cracks me up!

Second banana on The Big Show is Tim Nestor, better known around Lansing as "Fester." Fester is the WJIM sports reporter, but often rambles on about his knowledge of history and sports. A proud Republican, Fester loves talking about his dinner dates with Michigan state Senator Tom George and has boldly predicted that Mittens Romney will be the "next president of the United States." Come on Fes get real--like a guy who stuffs his beautiful Irish Setter in a dog crate, straps it to the roof of the family truckster, then proceeds to drive 12 hours from Boston to Ontario with his vehicle covered in sticky, slimy, bister-hued puppy goo could ever become President. Or maybe I'm confusing Romney with Bush. Or Bush with the puppy goo.

Even the callers get in on the fun occasionally. There is one paranoid, love-starved Aricept-dependent old man that calls himself "Dave from Dimondale." "Dave"--if that's his real name--supplies The Big Show with secret "insider" political analysis of local and national importance. You know when "Dave from Dimondale" calls the show, something BIG is happening, like the time he reported that "Those Dems are demanding clean water, better education, and bridges that won't collapse. And Hillary won't be President since old bigots like me won't vote for her because she wears pantsuits instead of dresses."

So if you're looking for a good chuckle while on your drive to work in the morning, tune in to The Big Show. Howard Stern, you better look out, there's a new King of Comedy hitting the airwaves of your hometown!

President Bush Pampers U.S. Troops

President Bush admitted Tuesday that he has been supporting a top-secret U.S. troop morale-boosting project implemented by defense contractor Kellogg Brown & Root, Inc. (KBR) named "PROJECT SNAP."

It is alleged that KBR grudgingly accepted a cost-plus contract to supply U.S. troops serving in Iraq and Afghanistan with luxurious, 100% cotton terry towels imported from Turkey that have been lovingly embroidered with the KBR logo. At three times the normal cost of towels of course. President Bush defended the expenditure saying "It was all Rove's suggestion (soft multi-color embroidered Turkish towels). One night me and Karl was sittin' around strategerizing about the whole camel-jockey thing going on over in the Middle East and Karl said we needed to do sumpthing to improve troop esprit de corps. I told ol' Rover (Rove's pet name) that I didn't think the troops would go much for that foo-foo Frenchy espy corpse crap he just said. Rover just laughed, then cried, and told me that whenever he was away from home for a good long time and got homesick, there was nothing in the world that made him and his rolly-polly buddies at the YMCA feel like they wus right back at home than some good towel-snapping and sword-fighting action in the showers. I smiled at Rover and we escaped to the shower to discuss the details."

The increased spending for shower room supplies however, has been more than offset by new Bush administration policy--policy that allows Halliburton/KBR to supply water for U.S. troop showers that originated from the highly-toxic Euphrates River. (Anyone remember the controversy from Operation Desert Storm where water to be utilized for troop showers was transported in oil tankers that previously stored petroleum without being sanitized? Nice!)