And From The Great, Ignorant State Of Texas...

From the chron.com:

A University of Texas poll to be released today shows Republican presidential candidate John McCain and GOP Sen. John Cornyn leading by comfortable margins in Texas, as expected. But the statewide survey of 550 registered voters has one very surprising finding: 23 percent of Texans are convinced that Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama is a Muslim.

Obama is a Christian who was embroiled in a controversy earlier this year about his two-decade membership in Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ. Yet just 45 percent of those polled identified the Illinois senator as a Protestant.

The Obama-is-a-Muslim confusion is caused by fallacious Internet rumors and radio talk-show gossip. McCain went so far at one of his town hall meetings to grab a microphone from a woman who claimed that Obama was an Arab.

The Texas numbers are unusual because most national polls show that just 5 to 10 percent of Americans still believe Obama is a Muslim — less than half the number of Texans who buy into the debunked theories.

The UT poll shows McCain running ahead of Obama statewide, with a 51 percent to 40 percent margin. Cornyn, a first-term Republican from San Antonio, leads Rick Noriega, a state representative from Houston, 45 percent to 36 percent. Another 14 percent of voters remain undecided in the contest.

The poll found that 89 percent of Lone Star State voters say the country's economic situation is worse than a year ago. And President Bush and Congress both get record low marks.

Just 34 percent of Texans approve of Bush's job performance — a big change for a former governor who won re-election 10 years ago with 70 percent of the vote. And Congress is even more unpopular: Just 8 percent of Texas voters approve of the work being done on Capitol Hill.

The telephone poll was conducted by the Texas Politics Project and Department of Government at The University of Texas at Austin. The poll was conducted from Oct. 15 to 22, and had a margin of error of 4.2 percentage points.

GOP October Surprise Has Arrived!!!

WASHINGTON, DC - In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain.

With major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker the Alien has changed his endorsement amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years.


Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.

Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband’s failing campaign, Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement.

At a recent McCain rally, inside sources say Cindy McCain disappeared with the Alien after sharing several champagnes with the notorious intergalactic lightweight. Ms. McCain’s alien-like good looks and natural blood temperature of 54 degrees Fahrenheit may have proved too much for him to resist as she reportedly put her cyborg husband into sleep mode and worked her charms.

This is not the first time the Alien, who sources say is no prude, has been in political “hot water.” During the 2004 election he was photographed in a hot tub with Laura Bush and Teresa Heinz Kerry. As the Alien is now married with children the release of these photos could be devastating for him.

What impact this news will have on the election has yet to be determined. Swing state voters, who will decide this election, have the highest rate of alien abductions and UFO sightings and are known to vote in accordance with supernatural forces.

This Modern World

More Embarassing Racist McCain Supporters in PA:

Fortunately, they're from the other side of the state...

McCain Cuts & Runs

Republicans John McCain and Sarah Palin were scheduled to make an appearance in Quakertown, PA Tuesday, October 28, but due to a little rain and cold weather decided to leave his supporters out in the cold when he cancelled his appearance without notification. If McCain can't even run a campaign that is respectful to his constituents, how does anyone expect him to run a nation? Story here at morningcall.com

Titties, Toes, & Tater-Tot Tuesday

Monday With McCain

"Do we share a common philosophy of the Republican Party? Of course."---on President Bush, "Meet the Pres Interview," Oct. 27, 2008

John McCain's Brother Is An Idiot Too!!!

From salon.com:

Everybody has that one embarrassing family member: The aunt who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and starts describing the various ailments of all 37 of her parakeets. The lewd grandfather who makes jokes about Viagra and spongebaths at the breakfast table. The off-kilter cousin who fills your inbox with e-mails that discuss UFO conspiracies and the coming apocalypse.

Luckily, for most of us, our oddball relatives don't have a national stage on which to humiliate us. Unfortunately for John McCain, the same can't be said of his brother Joe.

Washington, D.C.'s ABC News affiliate, WJLA, obtained the audio recording of an angry 911 call Joe McCain made while stuck in traffic in Virginia earlier this week. Here's the transcript of the call (WJLA's video report on the incident is below):

Operator: 911 state your emergency.

McCain: It's not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95, traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic's coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)

McCain: (Expletive) you. (McCain hangs up)

The story gets better from there. Because Joe McCain had made a non-emergency call to 911, the operator called back to see who had placed the call and got McCain's voicemail. The message on it said, "Hi, this is Joe McCain. I can't take this message now because I'm involved in a very important family political project. I hope on November 4th we have elected John."

Apparently not one to shy away from a fight, after listening to the operator's message warning him that it's a criminal offense to call 911 for non-emergencies, McCain called back. Here's the conversaton that ensued:

McCain: Somebody gave me this riot act about the violation of police.

Operator: Did you just call 911 in reference to this?

McCain: Yeah.

Operator: 911 is to be used for emergencies only, not just because you're sitting in traffic.

This isn't the first time this year that Joe McCain has made headlines. Earlier in October, he caused a minor stir when he joked that Democratic leaning areas of Northern Virginia were "communist country."

Ironically, McCain told the Boston Globe in March that he wanted to avoid becoming the latest in a line of disruptive presidential siblings like Billy Carter and Roger Clinton. Worried that he might accidentally say something to harm his brother's shot at the presidency, he vowed to make few public appearances and follow the mantra of "Do no harm."

This Modern World

Titties, Toes, & Tater-Tot Tuesday

Today's Best Sarah Palin Music Video

"Are you an Todd OK? I want to fly into your airspace!"

Fun With Sarah Palin As President!!!

This site gets better everyday! PalinAsPresident.us

Just click around. Something new every day. My favorite is the spinning globe---"North Koreaistan! Somethin'stan! I can see Alaska from here!"

Women for McCain

Monday With McCain

"He's (for) health for the mother. You know, that's been stretched by the pro-abortion movement in America to mean almost anything. That's the extreme pro-abortion position, quote, 'health.'"---mocking Obama's support for protection of a mother's health in abortion decisions, presidential debate, Long Island, New York, Oct. 15, 2008 (Watch video clip)

This Modern World

"When Ya' Got A Negro Runnin' For President, You Need A First Stringer, He's Definately A Second Stringer"---Ohio Resident

Ignorance is alive and well in Ohio!!!

Titties, Toes, & Tater-Tot Tuesday

McCain Supporters Pray That His God Is More Powerful Than Obama's God...

Courtesy latimes.com:

Rev. Arnold Conrad, in delivering an invocation at a rally today for John McCain in Davenport, Iowa, apparently didn't get the word from the candidate about elevating the tone at such gatherings.

Conrad, who appeared before the crowd before McCain had arrived, offered a prayer that seemed to urge divine intervention to prevent Barack Obama from winning the presidential election -- and cast the outcome as a referendum on differing religions.

The Times' Maeve Reston was at the event, and she passed along the key passage from Conrad's words:

I would also pray Lord that your reputation is involved in all that happens between now and November, because there are millions of people around this world praying to their God -- whether it's Hindu, Buddha, Allah -- that his [McCain’s] opponent wins for a variety of reasons.

And Lord I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you would step forward and honor your own name in all that happens between now and Election Day.

Oh Lord, we just commit this time to you, move among us, make your presence very well felt as we are gathered here today in Jesus's name I pray.

Some in the crowd greeted the prayer with applause.

Monday With McCain

"Across this country this is the agenda I have set before my fellow prisoners. And the same standards of clarity and candor must now be applied to my opponent."---Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Oct. 8, 2008 (Watch video clip)

Pennsylvania McCain Supporters - 10/8/2008

After watching and listening to these McCain/Palin supporters file into Lehigh University's Stabler Arena, I can honestly say that I have never in my life been more embarassed to call Bethlehem, Pennsylvania my hometown. Sadly, yes--these that spew their ignorance and hate are unfortunately fellow residents of the Lehigh Valley.

Ohio McCain Supporters - 10/8/08

The United States is FUCKED!!!

Some dude interviewing McCain-Palin supporters outside of a rally in Ohio...

Anyone who thinks someone is a terrorist because they are Muslim is an idiot. (Sorry, am I just being a typical east-coast elitist here? I will try to be more understanding.)

Someone Is Listening In On Your Phone Sex...Uncle George, Dick, etc.

The bastards are at it again! Any time you are tempted to believe the bland assurances that government wiretapping (or any other broad surveillance) is strictly for purposes of national security, think about this story and remember that government employees are the same kind of monkeys the rest of us are — snoopy, gossipy, voyeuristic, and inclined to disregard “the rules” whenever it seems likely that we’ll get away with it. Which means, they will listen to your phone sex if you let them listen to anything that they don’t have to justify (individually, specifically, each and every time) to a skeptical judge. From abcnews.com:

Despite pledges by President George W. Bush and American intelligence officials to the contrary, hundreds of US citizens overseas have been eavesdropped on as they called friends and family back home, according to two former military intercept operators who worked at the giant National Security Agency (NSA) center in Fort Gordon, Georgia.

…

“These were just really everyday, average, ordinary Americans who happened to be in the Middle East, in our area of intercept and happened to be making these phone calls on satellite phones,” said Adrienne Kinne, a 31-year old US Army Reserves Arab linguist assigned to a special military program at the NSA’s Back Hall at Fort Gordon from November 2001 to 2003.

Kinne described the contents of the calls as “personal, private things with Americans who are not in any way, shape or form associated with anything to do with terrorism.”

She said US military officers, American journalists and American aid workers were routinely intercepted and “collected on” as they called their offices or homes in the United States.

…

Another intercept operator, former Navy Arab linguist, David Murfee Faulk, 39, said he and his fellow intercept operators listened into hundreds of Americans picked up using phones in Baghdad’s Green Zone from late 2003 to November 2007.

“Calling home to the United States, talking to their spouses, sometimes their girlfriends, sometimes one phone call following another,” said Faulk.

The accounts of the two former intercept operators, who have never met and did not know of the other’s allegations, provide the first inside look at the day to day operations of the huge and controversial US terrorist surveillance program.

…

Faulk says he and others in his section of the NSA facility at Fort Gordon routinely shared salacious or tantalizing phone calls that had been intercepted, alerting office mates to certain time codes of “cuts” that were available on each operator’s computer.

“Hey, check this out,” Faulk says he would be told, “there’s good phone sex or there’s some pillow talk, pull up this call, it’s really funny, go check it out. It would be some colonel making pillow talk and we would say, ‘Wow, this was crazy’,” Faulk told ABC News.

Anyone surprised?

This Modern World

Never Again Will You Send A Drunk Email...

OK, so most of us have sent an email that we later regretted. Being stressed, tired, angry, or drunk can lead to hitting that send button when we should just hit save and sleep on it. Now, for most of these circumstances, you’re still on your own but Google launched a new feature yesterday to help with late night drunk emails.

The idea is that when you’ve been partying, you’re less likely to be both willing and able to do some simple math problems. So if you enable Mail Goggles (yes, I spelled that right. It’s like beer goggles, but in reverse), Gmail will make you answer some math before you can send your email. By default, it’s active on weekend late nights since that’s when most people will need it. But if you do your partying in the afternoon, you can set it for any time of day.

I'm sure that there at least a few relationships that would have lasted longer if one of the people involved had had this tool. On the other hand, it might interrupt some booty calls and FWB situations. And of course, it won’t affect your drunk phone calls to your ex-lover or text messages of undying lust/like/love (if only they were legible). Right Amy? "Hamared."

If anyone out there tries this out, please let us know how it worked. Did it help your relationship? Or did it get in the way of a late night booty call?

Thoughts On Presidential Debate #2...Or Just McCain

So sure, Obama totally won that debate Tuesday night. I say this mainly due to McCain telling the stupidest effing jokes ever, which is like an automatic "F" in my book. Stick to your day job, old man.

Anyways, after watching a replay of the debate at 3am, I had to go back and read the debate transcript because during the actual debate I was quite distracted writing a boring essay for Thursday night's class. Here are a few of McCain's statements that caught my eye:

We obviously have to stop this spending spree that's going on in Washington. Do you know that we've laid a $10 trillion debt on these young Americans who are here with us tonight, $500 billion of it we owe to China?

Yes, I do read the news and am quite aware of this ridiculous debt that future American generations will be paying off FOREVER. Hey, speaking of spending spree, why are we spending $12 BILLION DOLLARS A MONTH IN IRAQ?!

I was under the impression that Iraq's reconstruction would be paid for by their oil revenues, but perhaps I misheard the neocons.

You know that home values of retirees continues to decline and people are no longer able to afford their mortgage payments. As president of the United States, Alan, I would order the secretary of the treasury to immediately buy up the bad home loan mortgages in America and renegotiate at the new value of those homes -- at the diminished value of those homes and let people be able to make those -- be able to make those payments and stay in their homes.
Is it expensive? Yes. But we all know, my friends, until we stabilize home values in America, we're never going to start turning around and creating jobs and fixing our economy. And we've got to give some trust and confidence back to America.

[...]

I think it depends on what we do. I think if we act effectively, if we stabilize the housing market -- which I believe we can, if we go out and buy up these bad loans, so that people can have a new mortgage at the new value of their home -- I think if we get rid of the cronyism and special interest influence in Washington so we can act more effectively.

WTF? I thought McCain was a Republican? Maybe those commies out there in Arlington must have gotten to him. He wants the federal government to buy up "bad" mortgages and renegotiate them based on the house's current value? He wants to "stabilize" home values? The home values that are STILL TOO HIGH?! This is a ridiculously stupid plan that I'm 100% against, yet I'm glad he announced it because I love seeing idiots like Michelle Malkin and those guys at National Review bitch about it. It's like they finally realized, "Whoa, our candidate totally sucks!"

On appointing a SecTreas:

McCain: You know, that's a tough question and there's a lot of qualified Americans. But I think the first criteria, Tom, would have to be somebody who immediately Americans identify with, immediately say, we can trust that individual.

Joe Six Pack for SecTreas?

My friends, we are not going to be able to provide the same benefit for present-day workers that we are going -- that present-day retirees have today.

Thanks for the reminder, dipshit. And stop calling me your friend, dammit. There's a reason I ignored your request to be friends on Facebook (OK, to be honest here, I ignore everybody's request to be friends on Facebook).

Sen. Obama was wrong about Iraq and the surge. He was wrong about Russia when they committed aggression against Georgia. And in his short career, he does not understand our national security challenges. We don't have time for on-the-job training, my friends.

Earth to McCain! Sarah Palin WTF?

I'll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I'll get him. I know how to get him. I'll get him no matter what and I know how to do it.

If you know how to do it, then why haven't you done it yet? Being a United States Senator I do believe that you have a duty to your constituants, and if you fail to fulfill that duty it's called nonfeasance. Sounds like treason to me!

And I'm going to act responsibly, as I have acted responsibly throughout my military career and throughout my career in the United States Senate.

Deviating from flight plan, slicing through power lines, and plunging Spaniards into darkness equates to acting responsibly? What about the Savings & Loan scandal? Or Charles Keating?

Now, long ago, I warned about Vladimir Putin. I said I looked into his eyes and saw three letters, a K, a G and a B.

GAAAAAAAG! We have heard you say this line, like, A MILLION TIMES ALREADY! For the next week's debate, please think of something else to say.

John McPenguin

Titties, Toes, & Tater-Tot Tuesday